In a new interview, Selma Blair revealed she turned to alcohol to deal with the pain her body was in, years before getting diagnosed with multiple sclerosis.

The 46-year-old actress told ABC’s Good Morning America on Tuesday, February 26 that she cried when she was first learned of her condition last year.

“I had tears,” she admitted. “They weren’t tears of panic, they were tears of knowing I now had to give in to a body that had loss of control, and there was some relief in that.”

The Cruel Intentions star now needs a cane to walk, and is currently suffering from spasmodic dysphonia, a neurological disorder affecting the voice muscles, causing her speech to be stuttered.

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Blair says that before her diagnosis, she knew for years something wasn’t right. She told Robin Roberts she felt tired all the time and had no idea why. So, to make herself feel better, she started self-medicating.

“I was drinking. I was in pain,” she confessed. “I wasn’t always drinking, but there were times when I couldn’t take it.”

The actress admitted she would = sometimes get so tired she would need to pull over to take a nap after dropping off her 7-year-old son Arthur at school.

“I was ashamed, and I was doing the best I could, and I was a great mother, but it was killing me,” she said. “And so when I got the diagnosis I cried with some relief. Like, ‘Oh, good, I’ll be able to do something.’”

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Blair said her prognosis is promising, and her doctor feels she could have 90 percent of her abilities back within the year. She’s also turned to fellow actor Michael J. Fox, who has lived with Parkinson’s disease for 30 years, for support.

“He got in touch with me, so we began conversations, so he really helped me,” she said. “Plus, I was like, ‘I have Michael J. Fox‘s email now! Like, I’m pretty cool! I’m cooler than I thought.’”

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