Woman who used her friend’s spare key to leave a gift of flowers in the porch asks for advice after getting an angry text – as some insist it’s a serious breach of privacy while others say her pal is ‘rude and ungrateful’

  • A British woman took to Mumsnet to share her confusion at her friend’s anger
  • While leaving flowers she let herself in to keep them from being rained on
  • Some online said it was an invasion of privacy while others saw a kind gesture 

A woman who used her friend’s spare key to leave a bunch of free flowers inside the front door shared her surprise online after her pal implied she had crossed a boundary.

The unnamed British woman took to Mumsnet to ask whether she was in the wrong after a delivering a bunch of flowers to her friend and then letting herself in to keep them from getting damaged in the rain.

Explaining that she had previously been given a key to feed her friend’s cat and for emergency situations, she revealed her friend sent her a message saying: ‘Thanks for the flowers but why did you let yourself into my house? The key is for emergencies?’.

Commenters on the post couldn’t decide whether entering had been a total breach of privacy or if the friend was ungrateful for a lovely gesture.

A woman took to Mumsnet after being surprised that her friend was annoyed she had let herself in to leave a gift (stock image)

In her original post the woman explained that she had been given a key before, when the friend needed favours

Revealing that the flowers had come from her sister, who’d been given out-of-date bunches from the supermarket she worked at, the woman said: ‘They were good quality but shop doesn’t keep out of date flowers in stock. 

‘I texted my friend with a photo of the flowers asking if she would like a bunch. She said yes and that she would text me when she was home so I could drop them round.

‘I replied saying I would be passing her house in the next 30 mins, so I’d leave them at her front door since she wouldn’t be home for a few hours. She said, “Yes that’s great, thanks”.

‘When I got to friend’s house it was pouring with rain and she doesn’t have any cover on her doorstep. 

The friend was shocked that the woman had opened her door to leave the flowers on the porch and reiterated that her spare key was just for ’emergencies’

‘I have the key to friend’s house for emergencies (and have previously let myself in to feed the cat when friend has been away for a couple of nights). 

‘Because of the heavy rain I thought it would be better to leave the flowers in her porch, so I did. Literally opened the door, placed the flowers on the porch floor and left. I didn’t venture further than the porch.

‘A few hours after this I got this text from friend. Was I being unreasonable to open her door to leave the flowers?’

Some commenters immediately lept to the woman’s defence, suggesting that the friend was being ‘rude’ and she should send back the key.

Some commenters were outraged that the woman had let herself in without permission and asked why she carried the key at all times

One person said: ‘Your friend is being precious and a bit rude to have sent that text. I would 100% be giving her the key back.’

Another agreed, saying: ‘Give the key back and stay well away from such an unkind and ungrateful woman.’

While a third person was upset for the original poster, saying: ‘I would be hurt by this. You’re good enough to go into her home to do her a favour, and be trusted to have a key, what an over the top and mean reaction.’  

Others, however, couldn’t see the need to enter the house at all and thought the friend was simply setting boundaries with her text.

One person said: ‘I’d also take issue with this, not sure if I’d say something or not. But keys are for emergencies, you do not just let yourself in as you please otherwise. I’d never dream of doing that without permission.’

Some people thought the fault was with her friend and said that she should trust that the woman was simply dropping off flowers

Another was concerned that the woman always carried her key, saying: ‘She doesn’t want you going into her house unless she explicitly asks you to. 

‘That’s not really unreasonable. And I’d feel uncomfortable knowing you took my key with you to my house, it feels pre-emptive.’

While a third person explained a potential reason for the friend’s resistance, saying: ‘My parents (and mother-in-law) have a key to mine. Sometimes I’m a bit embarrassed when they use it to leave something if we’re not in and I’m not expecting it.

‘The house isn’t always the tidiest and finding an otherwise lovely gift like flowers on the kitchen table can feel bad if the washing up’s not done or whatever’.

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