Maya Vander has paid tribute to her baby boy Mason one year after suffering a heartbreaking stillbirth at 38 weeks pregnant.
The 40 year old real estate agent, who found fame on the hit show Selling Sunset, took to her Instagram stories on 10 December to share her heartbreak over what happened and speak on how she's been coping since.
"Today exactly a year ago I marked one year since I lost my son Mason at 38 weeks (9 months) and had a vaginal stillbirth," she told her 1.3million followers.
The star went on to express her uncertainty on how she would deal with the day when it finally came, explaining that her son would have celebrated his first birthday and "possibly taking his first step".
"I still have questions on why??" she continued. "He was a perfect baby and the autopsy report came back with no conclusion. Dr Kliman from Yale university looked at my placenta and was almost sure the cord was compressed. Basically bad luck".
Maya went on to share that she spent the day with her children, Aiden, four, and Elle, three, and "be thankful for them".
"At the end of the day, sitting in bed and crying will not bring him back," she said. "Approaching the holiday season which was grey and gloomy last year gives me hope that I can enjoy it again.
"Life goes on… and you learn to deal with grief in different ways.."
She ended her statement by highlighting key organisations who "really helped me to navigate through this dark period and trauma" before thanking them for their support.
At the time of her stillbirth, Maya took to her Instagram feed to post a photo of a memory box filled with white patterned blankets and pillows.
She wrote: "Yesterday was the hardest day of my life. I had a still birth at 38 weeks. I always heard of it but never imagined I’ll be part of the statistics.
"Instead of delivering a baby, I get to go home with a memory box… I do not wish this on anyone.
"What was a regular weekly checkup turned into a nightmare that I never imagine will happen to me. Given I share my pregnancies in the show I knew I’ll have to post about this and avoid the “when is your due date “ question."
She added: "You will always be in our heart Mason Miller," followed by a broken heart emoji and a blue heart emoji.
Six months after suffering a stillbirth, Maya had a miscarriage and announced the news on the same social media platform by saying: "I had a very crazy week. Miscarriage after ten weeks following my still birth.
"But my kids and my husband are absolutely my blessing and I am so lucky to be their mother! They bring joy and happiness to my life! Hug and love the people that you care about. Don't take things for granted!"
If you have been affected by this story, you can call the Samaritans on 116 123 or visit www.samaritans.org.
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