DEAR DEIDRE: MY three young adult daughters behave like spoilt brats and I want them to move out. I’m a retired solicitor, aged 67, and my wife of 30 years is 59. We have three girls, aged 21, 19 and 18.

They have wanted for nothing all their lives, but they never show us any gratitude or respect.

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My wife does absolutely everything for them. They don’t help out around the house and they treat us with utter contempt, ranting and swearing if asked to pick up their clothes from the floor.

My middle daughter told me to “f*** off” today, and that I’m a terrible father.

The eldest has a job and the other two are at university. I even offered to buy them a flat, but they won’t agree as they would have to pay bills, buy food and look after the place.

I’m at my wits’ end. I just want to enjoy a peaceful retirement with my wife.

DEIDRE SAYS: You say your wife does absolutely everything for them, and this is where the problem lies.

You need to set some ground rules and boundaries. Involve them and ask for their input rather than simply laying down the law. Ask for rent contributions from your working daughter, and tell the others to help around the house.

Don’t give them money unless it’s earned. My support pack on Troubled Teenagers should help. Also contact Family Lives (familylives.org.uk, 0808 800 2222) for more advice.

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