DEAR DEIDRE: MY kids haven’t spoken to me since I left their dad five years ago. How do I fix this?
They know he abused me for a long time, and neither of us was happy.
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Now I’m getting remarried, and I want nothing more than my boys to walk me down the aisle.
My sons are 33 and 29, and my ex is 57. I’m 56.
They say I should have tried harder to make it work.
What they don’t understand is that I never wanted to walk away. Marriage, for me, is a lifelong commitment.
But I didn’t have a choice. After they left home the abuse got worse and I was being beaten black and blue most days.
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Now I’ve met the sweetest, kindest soul. He’s 49, and we’re due to tie the knot in January.
How do I get my boys to see that they’re wasting precious time?
DEIDRE SAYS: It sounds as though your sons are in denial. Rather than believing Dad was abusive, they’d rather believe you weren’t committed enough.
It is possible to mend your relationship, but it will take time.
It can be difficult having honest conversations in person, so try writing them a letter. You don’t need to detail the abuse, but emphasise how unhappy you were and explain you couldn’t stay in a relationship where you were being physically and emotionally hurt.
Some counselling might help you deal with all these issues. My support pack explains how to access this.
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