DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband is a misogynist and Andrew Tate fan, and I’m worried about his influence on our sons.

Although I love him, I’m not sure I can stay with someone who has so little respect for women.

We’ve been married for seven years and have two sons, aged four and two. I’m 33 and he’s 35. 

Over the last few years he has become increasingly sexist. He thinks women should do all the cooking and cleaning, and exist to keep their husbands happy.

I’m not working at the moment, and he now says that he doesn’t want me to go back to work when the boys go to school.

He never helps out with the kids, he won’t even read them stories, as “childcare is women’s work”. 

If our four-year-old hurts himself and cries, he tells him to “man up” and that “only girls cry”.

Lately, he’s been watching a lot of Andrew Tate videos, which are cementing his views. I don’t want our boys to grow up thinking toxic masculinity is normal. 

He is a good, hard-working man but I can’t cope with his misogyny.

Get in touch with the Dear Deidre team

Every problem gets a personal reply from one of our trained counsellors.

Fill out and submit our easy-to-use and confidential form and the Dear Deidre team will get back to you.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Your husband’s outdated and offensive views are driving a wedge between you.

This is also having an impact on how you bring up your sons. The older they get, the more of a problem this will become.

It’s important you talk to your husband and explain how much this bothers you, and that it’s making you feel undermined and anxious.

Counselling could help you talk openly, in a safe environment.

Contact Tavistock Relationships (,020 7380 1960) and Family Lives (, 0808 800 2222).


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