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I’m involved in the most dangerous affair of my life.

Sex with my wife’s best friend is off the scale filthy. She sneaks in here when my wife is at work and we romp in my garden shed/office and the hot tub.

I run my own business so I’m free to duck and dive as I please.

I’m not perfect – I’ve had affairs before, but nothing like this one. She and I first got together a couple of months ago.

She came to me for advice after losing her job. I offered to go over her CV and minutes later I was going over her body too.

She complains that her husband is unadventurous and boring. Apparently she likes me because I’m a free spirit and like to take chances, but I’m beginning to fear that I’m in over my head.

The problem is that her taste in sex toys, pain and humiliation becomes more intense by the week. She loves to push boundaries and try new things, which aren’t always enjoyable.

More than once I’ve found myself bound and gagged thinking: “Is this right?” She loves blindfolds, nipple clamps and whips.

Internet sex shops are an ­addiction. The other day a courier was banging on the front door. He wanted a signature for an important package my wife was expecting. I was tied up, covered in chocolate sauce and couldn’t move. My lover was in hysterics.

But my wife hit the roof when she came home to discover that the package was back in the depot and I’d let her down.

My lover has no limits, but sex with her isn’t always a blast.

I’ve promised her so much and don’t want her to think I’m a dead weight because that’s what she says about her husband.

JANE SAYS: Stop trying to be something you’re not.

I get the impression you’re desperate to keep up with this feisty, experimental woman but you’re failing to be true to yourself.

At the beginning of your affair, things were light and fun. Now they’re dark and a bit scary and you don’t really know where you stand.

Stop this very dangerous affair before you give any more of yourself away.

Your wife trusts you to behave while she’s out of the house and you betray her with each thwack of the paddle…

You admit that this is not your first rodeo – that you’ve had affairs before. What’s that all about? Why can’t you stay faithful and true?

Does your wife actually know the person she’s ­married to?

Tell your lover that you’re no longer enjoying this party and find a way out.

If she’s sick of her husband or bored of life in ­general, then that’s something she needs to sort out for herself.

Meanwhile, you need to start talking seriously to your wife about your ­behaviour and the viability of your marriage.

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