DEAR DEIDRE: I’VE fallen out with my father-in-law after he accused me of being bone idle.
It all started when he wrongly assumed I’d asked his wife to collect a parcel for me.
He claimed I took advantage and said some very hurtful things for no reason.
I’m 28 and my partner is 33. We’ve been together for three years and his mum and dad live close by.
He is a fantastic guy but will defend his parents, even when they’re at fault.
My father-in-law can be quite sarcastic and often makes “jokes” at my expense. I’ve ignored him up until now.
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I’ve supported my in-laws, who are both in their seventies, so much over the years, with no thanks.
They won’t talk to me now. My boyfriend is stuck in the middle and is making me feel bad.
He says they have done a lot for me and keeps trying to persuade me to sort this out. I don’t know what to do.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Dealing with your partner’s parents may be one of the more challenging parts of your relationship.
I understand your frustration but, in my experience, unaddressed family rifts just lead to more unhappiness over the years.
Things will only change if your partner is willing to assert himself with his family.
If he can’t, or won’t, you will go on fighting a losing battle.
For your boyfriend’s sake, let their attitude roll off your back and be polite.
You may not be able to change them, but you can alter your reaction.
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