ANDREW PIERCE: Has Keir Starmer scored an own goal on Rwanda?

There were predictable howls of protest from the Labour Party over the Rwanda refugee plan — not least from the party leader himself, Sir Keir Starmer.

He strongly condemned the ‘desperate’ plan to pay millions to send migrants to an African country in order, he said, to distract from Partygate.

But Starmer has not always been against financial dealings with Rwanda.

Starmer has not always been against financial dealings with Rwanda. Above, Priti Patel speaking about the plan to fly people arriving in Britain 4,000 miles to Rwanda

There wasn’t a word of protest from him when his beloved Arsenal football club struck a £30 million sponsorship deal with Rwanda in 2018 as part of the East African country’s campaign to boost tourist numbers.

He can’t have been unaware of the transaction, as the slogan ‘Visit Rwanda’ is emblazoned on the Gunners’ first-team shirt.

The Rwandan money also never stopped Starmer accepting four tickets for a lavish lunch in the directors’ box at the Emirates stadium for Arsenal’s match against Watford on November 7 last year.

The value of the freebie, which he declared in the MPs’ register of interests, was a cool £2,160.

Did Starmer raise Rwanda’s human rights record when he was gorging himself in the box, or was he too busy cheering his team on in their 1-0 victory?

In a cheap PR stunt, Anna Richardson, host of the tacky Channel 4 dating show Naked Attraction — which offers a singleton the chance to select a date from six naked people — has banned Culture Secretary Nadine Dorries from the show because of her plan to privatise the station.

Cue a typically pithy response from Dorries: ‘The nation is saved.’ I wish she would also save us from Naked Attraction.

Meanwhile, Labour is advertising for an official with experience of working with ‘senior politicians . . . and celebrities’ in what sounds like a forlorn bid to sprinkle some much-needed stardust on the painfully dull Starmer.

They are currently stuck with the distinctly B-list former footballer Gary Neville and gender-fluid actor Eddie Izzard (pictured).

Oh, for the glory days of Cool Britannia under Tony Blair, when, among others, Oasis’s Noel Gallagher, the then EastEnders actor Ross Kemp and fashion designer Vivienne Westwood were all guests at 10 Downing Street.

Jess Phillips, who withdrew from the contest after not much more than a fortnight because of a lack of support, is now not sure whether she would ever run again

Blink and you might have missed it when Jess Phillips, the MP for Birmingham Yardley, ran for the Labour leadership in 2020.

And Phillips, who withdrew from the contest after not much more than a fortnight because of a lack of support, is now not sure whether she would ever run again.

‘I would love to be Prime Minister but being leader of the Labour Party looks like the sh***iest job in the world,’ she says.

Sir Keir Starmer might just agree with her.

It’s not just Labour MPs who are struggling to discuss female anatomy. A GB News reporter asked Lib Dem leader Sir Ed Davey if women can have penises.

His reply? ‘You have to ask the Prime Minister.’ Women voters take note.

My favourite poet, Pam Ayres, is not happy that free parking is being phased out for some NHS staff now that coronavirus restrictions have ended.

‘My nose is broken Doctor!

Good gracious! Right you are,

I’ll set it for you — once

I’ve put a ticket on my car. 

With several Conservative MPs demanding that Boris Johnson face a confidence vote, impressionist Rory Bremner scents blood. ‘It could be curtains for the Johnsons,’ he says. ‘But if they’re anything like as expensive as the wallpaper, they are in deeper trouble than they thought.’ 

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