Hopefully, America’s spies are a little more stealthy. The Office of the Director of National Intelligence (ODNI) was mocked on social media for using an image on the cover of its annual diversity report that was obviously Photoshopped. The report, subtitled “Hiring and Retention of Minorities, Women and Persons with Disabilities in the United States Intelligence Community”, used a stockphoto called “Portrait of Multi-Cultural Office Staff Standing in Lobby” and then photoshopped a woman in a wheelchair and a blind guy — sunglasses and a seeing eye dog — into it. “Things like this make you pray there actually is a shadow government running things,” one Twitter user commented. Another asked why “no one in this super-diverse office appears to be over 35? Is this the lobby of Logan’s Run Inc?” (Via Snopes)

Odd history

Johnnie Wolf is approaching the age of 20 months and is sound and happy. He didn’t have a frog in his throat; it was in his stomach. The youngster began losing weight despite a heavy appetite and mother had visions of a tapeworm. The boy’s stomach was photographed via X-ray and a big lump was seen. Doctor operated and brought out a half-pound frog in the best of health. Mrs Mary Wolf believes Johnnie swallowed a tadpole when they visited Mrs Robert Gregory, his grandmother, in Syracuse. They drank hydrant water there. (From the Day Book, April 14, 1915.)

Reality more involved than your average meme

“You may have seen, heard or read that the Government is funding the Mongrel Mob. It isn’t,” writes journalist Russell Brown. “What’s at stake here is a marae-based course called Kahukura on the East Coast that aims to treat meth dependency among men associated with gangs … Kahukura was a gang initiative, in that the pilot was run by Mahinaarangi Smith​, whose husband, Sonny Smith, is still president of the Mongrel Mob’s “Notorious” chapter. But they did this thing off their own bat and it was praised by Rotorua police area commander Inspector Phil Taikato, who said it reduced crime in the area. Kahukura is now to be funded to the tune of $2.75 million over four years, after the Ministry of Health put it forward for funding from the Proceeds of Crime Fund, which is specifically intended to support meth-dependency treatment programmes, among other things. Only government agencies can apply to this fund. The application was approved and sent on by a panel that includes representatives from Police, Customs and other agencies. From there it was signed off by the responsible ministers, including the PM. The Mongrel Mob is not getting the funding. The funded entity is H2R (Hard to Reach), a consultancy that aims to reach marginalised groups … One of H2R’s directors, Harry Tam, has longtime Mob associations. He’s also been working with public agencies for a long time, prepares cultural reports and research for the court system and was actually employed by Corrections for several years … This initiative is a good thing and has the support of Police … One of the key things about this kind of rehabilitation service is that it’s sometimes most effectively delivered by peers.”

On the job

1. A client once found our 30-page report too long, so I reduced the font size by 2 points and voila! The report was 22 pages. He saw it and was like, “guys this is fantastic”.
2. A friend and I put up posters near printers around our office that said they were voice activated and you just had to say the commands. Had everyone including the boss shouting “print” and “scan” at the machines. Hilarious.
3. Finishing work by 6pm, then waking up at 2am to send the file to my manager so he thinks I worked really hard on it.
4. In 2015 I managed to send the same monthly report for four months. Only change was the date.

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