If you had to list all of the traits you're looking for in a male partner, it might read something like, "awesome sense of humor, sexy smile, and a shared love of tacos, hiking, and Ozark." Penis size is pretty low on the list of must-have characteristics.
Still, plenty of men fear their penis size is below average. So what's that defined as? "In the sex-positive world, we like to use a broader spectrum for penis size," says Amy Baldwin, sex educator, sex and relationship coach, and co-host of the Shameless Sex Podcast. "We consider the average penis size in the U.S. to be about four to six inches in length when erect. So a penis of below-average size could be anything less than four inches."
It also bears noting that different people prefer different sizes and fits, says Baldwin. "Penises and vaginal canals come in all different shapes, lengths, and sizes," she notes. "Someone with a smaller vaginal canal may be happier with someone who has a smaller penis."
If your partner's penis happens to fall into the "smaller" category, there are plenty of moves that will maximize your pleasure.
Why Technique Matters
If you're a vulva owner, most of the nerve endings you want to hit during sex are located externally — in the clitoris, labia, and first inch of the vaginal canal, points out Baldwin. "Beyond that point, there are generally fewer nerve endings, with the exception of the G-spot and cervix, but those points respond more to pressure," she adds.
For the most part, stimulating these external spots will lead to orgasm, so a smaller penis can easily offer plenty of pleasure to these spots with the right movement and technique, says Baldwin.
For instance, positions in which bodies are more closely connected will not only amplify stimulation of nerve-ending-rich zones but leave less room for the penis to slip out, notes Shan Boodram, a certified sexologist and K-Y's intimacy educator.
Sex Positions to Try If Your Partner’s Penis Is on the Smaller Side
Finding your go-to, hottest, most pleasurable position is always going to be a matter of exploration and experimentation to see what works best for you. But Baldwin and other experts recommend giving the following sex positions and techniques a whirl should your partner have a smaller penis.
1. Get on top and grind.
Porn stars usually bust out a thrusting or pounding motion, but Baldwin suggests grinding instead. "This works well with the vulva-owning partner on top, face-to-face with the penis-owning partner," she explains. "Bring your bodies close together so that you aren't too perpendicular — a smaller penis may slip out if you aren't close enough. The vulva owner can then get comfortable, position their pelvis on the penis, and grind their body against it." Move your hips back and forth or even try some spirals.
Not only will grinding hit the external hot spots of the vulva, but it should benefit your partner's pleasure as well. "Because the head of the penis has the most nerve endings, it will get plenty of action even with this adjusted position," notes Baldwin.
Gigi Engle, SKYN Sex & Intimacy Expert, certified sex coach, sexologist, and author, seconds this move and recommends putting a pillow under your hips for a bit of extra lift, which can offer a feeling of deeper penetration. You can also spread your butt cheek during the ride to engage even more nerve endings and sensation, she notes.
2. Bring your knees to your chest.
Rachel Sommer, Ph.D., a clinical sexologist and co-founder of My Sex Toy Guide, recommends lying on your back with your legs wide open, pulling your knees toward your chest. Your partner can then kneel in front of you and enter you from above. "This position allows for a direct approach to penetration," she explains. Plus, it leaves room for clitoral stimulation. If your partner holds your thighs in place, you can add a clit vibe to penetration.
3. Do this twist on doggystyle.
You probably already know that doggy style lends itself to deeper penetration. If your partner has a smaller penis, you can get a greater sense of fullness by altering this position and lying flat while bringing your legs together, advises Engle.
"You can grab your favorite vibrator, and stick it between your legs, under your body, so you're riding it while your partner is riding you," says Engle. (She likes SKYN's Thrill for this.)
If you're a fan of a lot of friction, this move can set you up to achieve an orgasm fast.
4. Try missionary with one leg up — or even two.
Natasha Riley, a licensed professional counselor and certified sex coach, recommends lying on your back with one or both legs on your partner's shoulders. By getting your leg(s) out of the way, you'll set the stage for deeper penetration. "This is a super romantic position that allows for eye gaze and passionate kissing," she explains.
You can also add height to the hips with a cushion or pillow to bring you even closer to your partner, explains Riley.
5. Use a vibrating love egg.
Egg vibrators, like LELO's LYLA 2, are inserted into the vaginal canal and can sit up near the cervix. Adding one to partnered play can create a shallow space for your S.O.'s penis to move, points out Engle. "This will allow the vagina to feel fuller," she points out.
6. Go for a reverse ride.
While your partner lies on their back, you can slide onto the penis while facing their feet, advises Riley. If you bring your legs closer together, you'll have more control over the depth of penetration. "This position is visually appealing for the man and allows for the woman to have easier access to stimulate her clitoris for heightened pleasure," she explains.
Your partner can also place a cushion or pillow under the small of their back to create a tilt and lift of their pelvis, which results in a greater feeling of fullness.
7. Go for the shoulder holder.
Consider this one next-level missionary. "Instead of having your legs spread apart, put them over your partner's shoulders," explains Engle. "They can lean into your body for great depth, or hold onto your ankles for more support."
The bottom line on a sex position that’s right for you and your partner
No matter how you and your partner are getting it on, you'll want to prioritize comfort, control, and creativity, says Boodram. "Comfort because if you are preoccupied with pain or fear of pain it's difficult to focus on pleasure; control because great sex is intentional and having the ability to add a hand or toy in the mix can make all the difference; and creativity because the brain gets excited when something feels new," she explains.
But when it comes to pinpointing the ultimate position that checks all these boxes, there really is no such thing as one size fits all.
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