DOES your orgasm end with anything but a big bang?
Not to worry — Dr Andrea Pennington reckons that if you follow the advice in her new book you could be having body-shaking orgasms more frequently than ever before.
The American doctor says: “Most people think that orgasm happens in the genitals when it actually happens in the brain.
“Of course, women know that if they are not mentally stimulated and sufficiently relaxed, the peak of orgasm will seem as unattainable at the summit of Mt Everest.
“But the usual sex advice doesn’t address the real problem. Follow my techniques and you will reach orgasm with newfound ease.”
Her book, The Orgasm Prescription for Women, is a 21-day guide for overhauling your sex life.
Here, Dr Pennington shares 20 of her best sex tips to help boost your time between the sheets (or on the dining table).
1. PUT SEX ON THE BRAIN: In the beginning of a relationship most women say they get sexually turned on quickly because of the excitement and newness at play.
The more aroused you are mentally, the more your brain will increase blood flow to your vagina and clitoris.
Tune into the sensations you feel to create an erotic feedback loop between your lady parts and your brain.
Don’t ignore the tingling you feel between your legs. Focus on it. Relish in your body’s ability to turn on.
You can practice pelvic-floor exercises throughout the day to improve your sense of what’s going on in your vagina.
The added muscular strength gained from these exercises is a bonus and will often make your orgasm stronger and more intense.
2. BUILD ANTICIPATION WITH LONGER FOREPLAY: The more aroused we are, the easier it is to achieve orgasm.
And since most women take a bit longer than men to warm up sexually, it’s best to begin foreplay hours before a sexual encounter.
To prime yourself, you should prioritise, plot, plan and fantasise about sex early and often.
Enjoy the experience of pleasure building over time by bringing erotic ideas to mind throughout the day. This helps your brain get your sexual motor running.
Amp up anticipation by taking a steamy tea break in the afternoon to read a bit of erotic fiction or send a sexy text. Write down a fun fantasy you’d like to try.
Doing something like this at midday will make your brain think there’s a reward in store and will turn on your sexy engine for the fun ahead.
3. RIDE THE WAVE OF ECSTASY: To enjoy a deeply pleasurable and expansive orgasm requires total surrender to the passion and sensations of the experience.
With increased focus on pleasurable physical and emotional sensations, you strengthen the feedback signals in the brain which heighten arousal.
However, women become distracted by their own anxiety or worries about how they look, smell or taste.
Change your focus to what you are feeling and to the pleasure you are giving your partner so that your head stays in the game.
Surrender to the flow of erotic pleasure and your brain’s blast of electrical activity will trigger physical spasms of ecstasy.
4. MAKE IT A MULTI-SENSORY AFFAIR: Because we tend to stay in our heads, we often cut off or don’t recognise the body’s sensations.
Plus our inner critic can totally derail orgasmic flow. So, trick your mind by diverting your mind from inner critique and judgement.
Tune into your senses and allow yourself to be turned on by everything, not just sexual stimuli. Do this throughout the whole day.
And deliberately tune into your sense of sight, touch, taste, smell and hearing before and during the act of lovemaking.
5. BREATHE YOUR WAY TO ECSTASY: Does it surprise you to know that some women can reach orgasm without any genital stimulation?
Deep belly breathing, coupled with focus on the waves of energy felt in the body, can bring a woman to orgasm without any genital contact.
In fact, tantra practitioners say that if we associate deep, erotic pleasure with the delicious sensations we experience throughout the day, we can create a rush of energy to course through the body.
Bringing the breath in alignment with focus on the body’s energy helps the brain to push us into an ecstatic climax.
Set a reminder on your smartphone for every two hours to stop, breathe deeply and let your senses come alive.
This trains your brain to tune into pleasure in its many forms.
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6. MAKE MINE A COMBO, PLEASE: Since most women do not reach orgasm with penetrative intercourse alone, combine that with stimulation of multiple erogenous zones.
Researchers have found that just thinking about what it feels like to have the breasts, vagina or clitoris — or any other body part associated with sexual stimulation — touched can cause the corresponding region of the brain to light up as if there was actual contact.
When your partner rubs, licks or sucks your most sensitive areas you can maximise the electrical impulses firing in your brain which helps get you to enjoy orgasm more intensely.
7. ENJOY SOME ORAL DELIGHTS: Women are more likely to orgasm when oral sex is performed, studies show.
Allow your partner to go down on you while also using a finger or sex toy.
As you get super-excited he can move on to full sex while continuing stimulation with his hands.
8. POSITION YOURSELF FOR SUCCESS: Flip over and let him penetrate you from behind so you get the combination of G-spot stimulation.
Ask him to fondle your breasts or massage your bum at the same time.
Research proves that sensual touch on several parts of the body at once lowers the barrier to orgasm.
9. GET ON YOUR A-GAME: The anterior fornix, or A-spot, is a sensitive portion of tissue on the anterior wall (facing the abdomen) of the vagina just past the G-spot and just before the cervix.
Many women report intense pleasure when this spot is tapped.
Continuous stroking or tapping this sensitive area can lead to orgasm.
10. GET TIED UP: You don’t have to stray too far down the kink path to gain some benefits from a little bondage.
The feeling of being restrained can boost the excitement you feel while getting into the act.
Allow your partner to gently bind your hands. The limited ability to get away will allow your passion to rise to new heights.
Choose a safe word that you can say to stop anything that makes you feel uncomfortable.
11. TRY A BLINDFOLD: Adding in a touch of mystery by depriving yourself of sight can add an element of suspense and intrigue.
Plus, when your sense of sight is taken away, your other senses kick in. The touch, sounds and smells around you will be more potent.
Allow your partner to use a silk scarf or neck tie to gently block your vision.
12. MAKE A MOVIE IN YOUR MIND: Do you have a favourite fantasy you use while pleasuring yourself?
Don’t be ashamed to play a sexy movie scene in your mind as you get into the act.
Studies show that mentally envisioning a love scene while you make love can add electricity and heat to your lovemaking.
Allow yourself to imagine that your partner is the hot bartender from the pub or the sexy stud you see walking his dog each day.
Get creative and see how hot it is to reach orgasm with your favourite star.
If you feel hesitant about this, just know that fantasising while having sex is NOT cheating.
13. PLAY WITH YOURSELF: Have you let your partner watch as you stimulate yourself to orgasm?
It can be quite erotic for your partner to see just what it takes to get you off.
The turn-on for you is that your partner must watch, but can’t join in the fun.
If you see your partner suffering too much, right when you’re about to climax, allow him in.
14. ASK HIM TO MANSCAPE: Why should we be the only ones who clip and trim?
Whether you like lots of hair or not, if your guy does a nice shave of his chest or below the belt, it can be a turn on to stroke, kiss and lick his skin.
You could even do it yourself. It can be a turn-on to lather him up and shave him clean.
15. TRY ROLE PLAY: Get dressed up in a sexy outfit and play out a scene that you’ve always wanted to experience.
Have you considered what it would feel like to be a dominatrix?
With or without latex, whips or cuffs, you can still play the role of a domineering woman to see how hot you get.
Maybe the idea of your partner playing the role of a police officer, a pizza delivery guy or doctor appeals to you.
Be open to try a few scenes to experience sex in a new way.
16. DO IT IN NATURE: Many women find the combination of the smells of nature along with the slight fear of being seen in the act are an incredible turn-on.
17. BECOME A STATUE: What would happen if you couldn’t move your body while your partner was going down on you?
Pretend that you are a statue and experiment with being completely still — and silent, too, if you can stand it.
Ask your partner to touch, suck or lick you as you lie back.
Allow yourself to fully surrender to the pleasure, without moving, until you are shaking in orgasmic release.
18. ADD APHRODISIACS TO YOUR DIET: Plants and herbs have been used to stimulate sexual appetites since the time of Ancient Greece.
Research on a variety of animals shows that some spicy foods can indeed increase mating behaviour and sexual response.
A few natural aphrodisiacs you could try include nutmeg, clove, cinnamon, and black pepper.
And chocolate, a favourite of the Aztecs, is always a good one. Eat it with — or off of — your lover to stimulate your sex drive.
19. BE VOCAL: While some women are shy about how they sound, most men find it to be a turn on.
It helps them know just which moves bring you pleasure. Plus when you open up a bit and allow yourself to moan in delight, you’ll find your repressed energy is free to bring you closer to climax.
Talk dirty. Moan. Tell him what you want him to do. Be proud of your expressive side.
20. EXPLORE EROTICA: Have you ever watched an erotic film with your partner? How about reading some sexy novels?
Couples who explore erotica together report being happier and more committed.
No need to force him to hide his porn interest — there are plenty of female-oriented options that just might make you hot, wet and easily orgasmic.
- The Orgasm Prescription For Women: 21-days To Heightened Pleasure, by Andrea Pennington, MD (£13.67, published by Make Your Mark Global) is out now.
Dr Andrea offers free meditations to heighten sexual responsiveness at OrgasmPrescription.com.
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