DEAR DEIDRE: I AM a 27-year-old man and I’ve never had a girlfriend because of something that happened when I was 11.

My 14-year-old cousin was wrestling with me and then he took me to a quiet area.

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He wrestled me again but this time he pulled down my shorts and pants and sexually assaulted me.

I didn’t know what he was doing. These things weren’t spoken about in my family.

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As I grew up, I got to understand what it was all about and although I was angry at first, I have wondered if it happened because I did something to provoke him.

I now wonder if I’m gay.

DEIDRE SAYS: You may be gay but your sexuality is a completely separate issue from the fact you were abused as a child.

You are a survivor of an assault from an older boy and you did nothing to encourage him. Please believe you are not at fault.

You can find support from the National Assocation for People Abused in Childhood (napac.org.uk) and LGBT Foundation (lgbt.foundation) which supports the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Trans communities.

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