Woman who doesn’t share a home with her husband reveals the highs and lows of living in separate abodes – while insisting it’s the ‘secret to their happiness’

• Bianca Turetsky, 43, married her husband, Peter Bach, in September 2021
• Since they wed when she was 42, she said she had already ‘built her own life’
• The couple kept their own homes and she insisted it made them stronger 

A woman who doesn’t share a home with her husband has revealed the highs and lows of living in separate abodes – while insisting that it’s the ‘secret to their happiness.’

Bianca Turetsky, now 43, married her husband, Peter Bach, in September 2021 – when she was 42 – which meant she had already ‘built her own life.’

After tying the knot, she decided she wasn’t ready to give up her Brooklyn apartment that she’d lived in it for more than a decade and said it felt like ‘part of her family.’

Her new husband had similar feelings about his own Manhattan abode.

The newlyweds ultimately decided to both keep their homes and live separate from one another.

A woman who doesn’t share a home with her husband has revealed the highs and lows of living in separate abodes – while insisting that it’s the ‘secret to their happiness’

Bianca Turetsky married her husband, Peter Bach, in September 2021 – at age 42 – which meant she had already ‘built her own life.’ They are seen at their wedding

After tying the knot, the couple (seen with Peter’s son) decided they both weren’t ready to give up their apartments so they decided to both keep their homes and lives separate

And while it has certainly come with its battles, Bianca insisted in a recent essay for the Today show that the decision has only made their relationship stronger.

‘Peter, a widower, was coming into our marriage with a teenage son and an adorable schnoodle. I had a studio apartment and a temperamental cat,’ she wrote. 

And while it has certainly come with its battles, Bianca insisted in a recent essay for the Today show that the decision has only made their relationship stronger

‘How could we make this marriage something that worked for all of us? Following the traditional playbook wasn’t going to make anyone happy.’

‘But why did we have to live by old conventions? Why couldn’t we make it up as we went along? Who says what a good marriage should look like?’ she asked.

Bianca explained that another thing that lead to their decision to not move in together was that Peter, as well as his teenage son, suffer from severe cat allergies – which meant she would likely have to choose between them and her dear pet, Cleo. 

‘They are severely allergic to cats. Like the throat-closing-up kind of allergies. [That mean] she would never be able to be a part of a home with him,’ she continued.

‘I had no plans to have a life without her – no wedding ring was worth giving her up.’

Bianca explained that once she and Peter ‘realized that they didn’t have to follow what everyone else was doing,’ their romance ‘deepened.’ 

Bianca explained that once she and Peter ‘realized that they didn’t have to follow what everyone else was doing,’ their relationship ‘deepened’

And Bianca (seen at her wedding) now believes having separate homes is the ‘secret to their happiness.’ She added: ‘This is not what I expected marriage to look like. It’s so much better’

And she now believes having separate homes is the ‘secret to their happiness.’ She added: ‘This is not what I expected marriage to look like. It’s so much better.’

The author explained that when she tells others about their ‘unusual living situation,’ she notices that most people react with ‘envy.’

‘I like to think they start imagining what a room or apartment of their own may look like,’ she added.

‘Maybe they start remembering what it was like to eat cereal for dinner while watching reality TV, and dance around in their pajamas like no one is watching. Because on those nights when I am home alone in Brooklyn, I do all those things.’

While Bianca and Peter have become quite used to the 38-minute commute that separates them, she said Peter was currently looking for an apartment that’s ‘a few subway stops closer’ now that his son had headed off to college. They have no plans to move in together anytime soon.

‘Perhaps in another few years I’ll write a follow-up essay from my cozy sleeping loft about why you should live with your spouse and the dangers of long-distance marriages and the single girl’s guide to dealing with an elderly cat,’ she concluded.

‘But I’m pretty sure that won’t happen.’

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