DEAR DEIDRE: KNOWING my lover is seeing different men is really eating me up.
I realise I’m being a hypocrite, but still I’m so upset.
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I’m a married 40-year-old man with two daughters.
My wife works part-time so does most of the running around with the kids.
The one thing I organise is taking our children to their gymnastics sessions so my wife can go to pilates.
I met a friend of hers there, a woman who is 38. She is divorced, with a son of six.
We seemed to click, joking about pushy parents, and have the same taste in music and food. The more time I spent with her the more I started to fancy her.
One afternoon, she pointed to another guy across the gym hall and whispered she had a “hot date” with him. I was wild with jealousy.
I was watching TV later when my phone pinged. It was the same woman, saying: “The guy stood me up. Are you busy?”
I told my wife I was going out to walk the dog and went to this woman’s house, leaving the dog in the car. As soon as I walked in she grabbed me and we had sex on the stairs. It wasn’t my finest hour, but it did feel good.
I started to see her regularly and she has told me about her other men. She has even gone with a guy who she met in a queue for the cashpoint, and ever since then it’s been a succession of men for hook-ups.
She’s open about it. The latest one is a coach at the kids’ gym. Soon she’s going on holiday to Mexico with another guy.
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She says she doesn’t fancy him and “nothing will happen”, but why would you go away with a bloke you don’t fancy? She says: “It’s a free holiday. Why wouldn’t I?”
I’m still seeing her and my wife is none the wiser. Now I’m losing sleep over what my lover is up to.
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DEIDRE SAYS: You are treading a dangerous path. If your wife finds out, your family life will never be the same again.
Your lover is sleeping around so you are risking your sexual health as well as your wife’s. Your lover is using you and you’re being hurt.
Have some pride and end this now. Change your focus to your wife and children, which is where it should be.
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