I’m moving in with my boyfriend in a week and found out he was subscribed to his ex fling’s OnlyFans – should I dump him?

• The anonymous woman wrote into comedian Katherine Ryan’s podcast for help
• She found her partner had been paying for sexually explicit videos from exes
• Read More:  Would YOU make your bridesmaids wear this dress? Bridezilla blasted for asking her ‘well-endowed’ don a VERY skimpy halterneck

A woman has revealed how she discovered her boyfriend was subscribed to ex-partner’s OnlyFans account just one week before they were due to move in together.

Earlier this month, the anonymous woman, believed to be from the UK, wrote into comedian Katherine Ryan’s Telling Everybody Everything podcast to ask for help. 

In her letter, she wrote: ‘I had a dream one morning that my boyfriend was still using OnlyFans.

‘I woke up from this dream at 4am. I went through his phone while he was sleeping and he had been using OnlyFans.’ 

Although OnlyFans isn’t exclusively designed for people to sell sexually explicit photos and videos, this is what the subscription-only social media platform has become most commonly known for. 

The anonymous woman found her boyfriend had been paying for sexually explicit videos and photos from his exes’ OnlyFans accounts. Stock photo

After snooping through her boyfriend’s account, the woman found proof that he had recently paid for two pornographic videos of an ex-partner.

She continued: ‘I kicked off and cried and he promised he wouldn’t use OnlyFans anymore.’

But despite his promise, the girlfriend said she couldn’t trust that he was being honest with her. 

They wrote: ‘I found myself compulsively looking through his phone again.

‘Although I didn’t OnlyFans, he now had used ManyVids which is a similar platform – is this not technically crossing my boundary of no OnlyFans? 

‘Again, he was watching videos of his ex. ‘

Now the couple are due to move in together in a week’s time and the woman says she checked his phone for a third time.

‘It’s happened again,’ she wrote. ‘He had been viewing videos of not his ex but a girl he had slept with in the past.  

Katherine Ryan told the woman it sounded like a ‘massive dealbreaker’ and something she would not tolerate in her own relationship

‘I’m meant to move in with him in a week’s time – is this cheating?’

The woman ended her letter by saying that she wanted to promote ethical pornography but couldn’t stand the thought of her boyfriend paying for videos and photos from his previous partners.

After questioning if the woman had really dreamt of her partner using OnlyFans, Katherine – who recently welcomed her third child – said: ‘You are lying to yourself because you don’t want to encourage ethical porn.

‘You want to want to encourage ethical porn but you wouldn’t be having this crisis if you actually didn’t care […]

‘You can have a positive attitude towards women and men who want to do sex work and still have a boundary in your relationship that it’s not okay with you and I don’t think that makes you a hypocrite.’

Weighing in on it herself, the comedian continued: ‘I wouldn’t want Bobby looking at pornography either. Honestly, if I saw him looking at it now, it would really creep me out.’

The comedian told the woman that it sounded like a ‘massive boundary violation’ and urged her not to move in with her boyfriend. Stock photo

Branding the woman’s partner looking at his exes a ‘massive boundary violation’, Katherine said: ‘I would just be very upfront.  

‘Too often, we expect people to read our minds. I would say [tom him], ‘I feel that when you look at your ex in a sex video, you were imagining what it was like to f**k her.

‘”And in using your imagination in that way, I feel like you’re cheating on me. It feels like a betrayal and it’s not like she’s some imaginary porn actress who you’re never going to talk to you in your life, she’s someone whose parents you’ve met and I don’t like it.”‘

Ultimately, Katherine recommended the woman doesn’t move in with her current partner.

She added: ‘He might be a great boyfriend now […] but he’s not the one. This would be a massive dealbreaker for me.’ 

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