Written by Amy Beecham

If dating apps are leaving you frustrated and in a dating slump, why not try Twitter, TikTok or Instagram? Four couples share what it was like to meet online and how you can form meaningful relationships on Twitter.

When I tell people I met my boyfriend at university, they expect ours to be a union forged by the sticky floors of an oddly named student nightclub, facilitated by £1 jagerbombs. But the reality is that our relationship grew from a place neither of us expected: a Facebook group chat.

Among the thousands of members of Warwick University Freshers 2016, we somehow managed to not just find flatmates and seminar buddies, but a romantic partner.

Before my current relationship, I’d never had much success meeting people on dating apps. I had, however, always found it easy to connect with people online. I not only formed friendships across seas but sparked romantic connections too – an innocent DM I once sent to a guy I followed about a band’s new album turned into us dating for five months.

The internet is undoubtedly an incredible tool for connection, but perhaps it’s the lack of pressure and expectation that makes it seem easier to find love.

The constant swiping and quippy bios of apps can leave us fatigued and jaded at the state of the dating landscape, but social media seems to offer a much more organic and wholesome playing field for the ultimate 21st century meet-cute.

Tayla, 29, also met her husband Chris, 31, on Facebook in 2009. “We both joined a group called ‘Screw you all, I love The Wheel Of Time,’ dedicated to the fantasy series by Robert Jordan,” she explains.

“We chatted about the books and got to know each other over messenger and Skype.”

Their relationship remained platonic until 2013, when Chris travelled from Canada to meet Tayla in her native South Africa.“We did long distance for two years and he later moved after we got married in 2017,” she shares.

Tayla admits that if Tinder had been around at the time, they likely would have both been on it. However, location limitations mean they would never have met.

“I think it’s wonderful that the way we met didn’t even exist just 20 years ago,” she says. “There are almost 8 billion people in the world as of 2022 – what’s the likelihood of your perfect partner being within a 10km radius of your address? Mine was 13,000km away.”

26-year-old Erin shares that she met her partner, Nay, 21, via Twitter. “She DM’d me after flirting with me on the timeline,” she tells Stylist. “We were both in toxic relationships at the time and our friendship online was a saviour.”

While they met in 2020, Erin and Nay started dating in 2021 after their relationships ended.

“I actually prefer meeting people on Twitter rather than meeting on dating apps,” Erin says.“I’ve found that you make a more genuine connection with a person via social media because most people use it as their personal diary. It’s more real than just a blurb written under a dating profile.”

While social media has a reputation for offering a false, filtered reality, it seems in many places it can also facilitate genuine and authentic bonds.

• Kelsey, 29, and Andrew, 24, started their relationship in 2020 after following one another on Instagram. “We had mutual friends as we’re in similar industries and Instagram has just been a great tool for connecting, especially over the pandemic,” Kelsey tells Stylist.

 “We kept in touch just as friends over the past two years and just by coincidence happened to be in Los Angeles at the same time since we’re both from different places. We met up for the first time, and then the following day, and the day after that, until we both left LA.”

Kelsey says that while she’s never used dating apps, she does spend a lot of time online on social media. “I’ve always believed it’s a great way to expand your circle and everyone does it already, so why not do it for dating?” she shares.

“I also feel like you get such a great overview of who a person is based on their social media and just chatting as friends to start versus chatting to someone on dating apps, which can get misleading and you might be on a different page to the person you’re chatting to.”

But naturally, online dating doesn’t come without certain risks. Ness, a 32-year-old sex therapist, also met her partner on Twitter but says she was originally wary about dating across social media.

“I was taught to be very careful meeting people online, but now after experiencing the relationship for a while, I’m glad I pushed past that belief,” she says. “It did feel more natural and it was nice being friends without pressures first before even looking into the possibility of dating.”

Images: Getty; Tayla Blaire

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