DEAR DEIDRE: WORRIES about my daughter’s spending habits are keeping me awake.
She was born with learning difficulties so has always been immature.
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Now she’s 24, I’m trying to help her to become more independent.
But as her 55-year-old mum, I am very anxious about her finances.
She still lives at home, has a job in a cafe and a boyfriend, who seems like a decent young man.
I don’t charge her for rent or food, so she should have plenty of money to pay for petrol, clothes and going out.
However, she never seems to have any left at the end of the week and has been asking me for cash.
I don’t know what she’s spending it on.
When I try talking to her about it, she gets angry and defensive.
I’ve even suggested she puts some money in an envelope each month, but she says she can do what she likes with it.
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What can I do?
I’m not sleeping properly, worrying about her future.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Letting our children become independent means allowing them to make their own mistakes.
Understandably, you’re particularly anxious, given your daughter’s learning difficulties, which make her more vulnerable.
Perhaps you could try talking to her boyfriend, to see if he’s aware of her spending. If he’s a decent guy, he should be willing to help.
Talk to your daughter again. Tell her you want an adult conversation.
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For support for people with learning disabilities, contact mencap.org.uk (0808 808 1111).
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