If you’re stumped for meal ideas, why not look to the stars? No, we don’t mean checking out the celebs’ Instagrams to see what it is they’re dining on. Chances are, it’s just some uninspiring piece of grilled fish their personal nutritionist whipped up — healthy, but kind of boring (and not necessarily what they actually ate once the cameras were off).
No, the kind of stars we’re talking about are the ones that make up the constellations. Specifically, the 12 constellations of the zodiac. If your horoscope can tell you what cocktail to drink, where to go on vacation, and what you should be naming your baby, then of course it also knows just what you or your [insert star sign here] significant other would like to eat for dinner. We present the following guide to astro-gastronomy featuring suggested main courses and even a few side dishes best suited for every sign.
Aries: Grilled burgers and brats
Aries, the first sign in the zodiac cycle, is all go go go! They’re not really the type to spend all day fussing over a complicated gourmet meal. While the busy Aries may tend to subsist on a diet of sandwiches and fast food, they do appreciate the chance to sit down to the kind of meal that doesn’t come in a paper wrapper. As Aries is a fire sign, as well as one that appreciates a certain amount of drama in their food prep, what better meal for the Ram than one cooked over the grill?
No need to get too fancy with the grilling, though, as something fairly simple like burgers or brats will work just fine for this straightforward sign. Traditional barbecue sides like grilled corn, potato salad and baked beans will suit Aries just fine, though they won’ even fuss if you open a bag of chips instead. Chips are yummy, and informal Aries won’t care if you don’t even put them in a bowl.
Taurus: Boeuf Bourguignon
Taurus may be the sign of the Bull, but they are ruled by the planet Venus, goddess of love and beauty. What this planetary ruler means is that these Bulls, with their taste for the finer things in life, would be right at home in a china shop, and even happier in a restaurant where they’re eating exquisite food off delicate china plates.
Despite Taurus’ taste for luxury, though, those born under this sign still have hearty appetites and cuisine minceur really isn’t their thing. What they would much rather have is a dressed-up version of beef stew such as boeuf Bourguignon. Serve this dish with lots of crusty French bread and maybe some buttered noodles or mashed potatoes since Taureans do love their carbs! A salad would be okay, as long as it has lots of croutons and a thick, creamy dressing (the Bull promises to get back on their diet tomorrow) and don’t forget something rich, sweet, and gooey for dessert.
Gemini: Tapas
Gemini is one super-sociable sign. If you invite a Gemini to a party, they’ll be the one forever flitting from group to group. While all that circulating is great for cocktail parties, it may not work so well at a dinner party where Gemini will be too busy keeping up a constant stream of conversation to really concentrate on the food. That is why a buffet-type meal is best suited to a Gemini as this type of setup will not only allow them to eat on their feet, but also provides a wide range of choices well suited to a sign whose symbol is twins.
One type of meal that’s bound to appeal to the variety-loving Gemini is tapas, those Spanish small plates that can range from spicy to salty to sour (or any combination of these) and can be either hot or cold. Serve a wide selection of tapas alongside small glasses of sherry the Spanish way, or perhaps with the red wine and soda cocktail called tinto de verano, a refreshing, low-alcohol drink that won’t slow Gemini’s roll.
Cancer: Coquilles St. Jacques
Cancer the Crab is a sign that may, at times, show the world a hard shell, but once you “crack” this shell by gaining their trust, you won’t find anyone sweeter. Cancers are all about security and comfort, and many Cancers enjoy spending time in the kitchen whipping up delicious meals for their loved ones. If you want to return the favor and cook a special meal for your favorite Cancer, it may come as no surprise to find out that those born under this water sign are often very fond of seafood.
Coquilles St. Jacques, a classic French dish consisting of scallops cooked in a cream sauce and topped with buttered breadcrumbs and grated cheese, isn’t a showy, flamboyant dish. It is, however, sufficiently luxurious that it will make any Cancer feel cherished, particularly if you can serve it in a sweet little gratin dish or even in a scallop shell. Accompany the scallops with a fresh green salad, a crisp white wine, and maybe a light, fruity dessert, and your Crab will be happy as a clam.
Leo: Crown roast of lamb
Leos are the divas of the zodiac, prima donnas that command center stage wherever they go. It’s not that they are trying to be scene-stealers, though, it’s just that their larger-than-life personalities can’t help filling up the room. Any meal that’s fit for the Lion has to be super-special, since plain old mac and cheese simply won’t do. (No, not even the kind that’s all tricked out with truffles and lobster tails.)
To please a Leo, you’ll need a big-deal meal, something that looks like you put a lot of time and effort into it. Perhaps something that looks like it’s fit to be eaten (or worn) by a king, like a crown roast of lamb with chestnut stuffing. To accompany such a regal meal, a rice pilaf or dish of honey-roasted root veggies would serve as a down-to-earth counterpoint, but for dessert you’ll want to finish big with something suitably dramatic like bananas Foster flambé .
Virgo: Chicken piccata
Virgos are a sensible, practical sign, and they know how to take care of themselves. You won’t catch them indulging in decadent delights, nor are they the type to live off of drive-thru fare. If you have a coworker who always brings in a neatly packed bento box filled with salad and fresh sliced fruit with maybe a modest handful of nuts for lunch, chances are they’re a Virgo.
While Virgos will happily subsist on salad, that doesn’t mean they don’t appreciate a proper, multi-course meal from time to time. A Virgo would be perfectly happy with a plain poached chicken breast, but if you really want to make them happy, why not make chicken piccata? It’s tangy lemon sauce is a perfect match for the occasionally tart-tongued Virgo. Serve it with a side of neat, petite acini di pepe tossed with a dab of butter and sprinkled with Parmesan. Of course you should also include a small side salad so Virgo can feel they’ve met their veggie quota for the day.
Libra: Jambalaya
Libras, like the scales depicted by their ruling constellation, are all about balance and harmony. Those born under the sign of Libra don’t tend to gravitate to extremes in any direction. If they do have one flaw, though, it can be that they sometimes have trouble making up their minds, so maybe don’t take them to the holiday smörgåsbord at IKEA. (Pro tip: Never ask a Libra whether they want pizza or Chinese food for dinner.)
What will please your Libra is jambalaya, a one-pot meal that’s not too plain, not too fancy, and has a little bit of everything. It’s got rice, it’s got veggies, it’s got chicken, it’s got sausage, it’s got shrimp, and it has just enough spice to give it a nice little kick without overwhelming the other flavors. Serve this Southern classic with a glass of sweet tea and some blackberry cobbler and all will be well in Libra’s world.
Scorpio: Osso buco
Scorpios are often thought of as the most mysterious of all the signs, and they are also known for being pretty darn sexy. What better dish for them than osso buco, an Italian entree that hides an ingredient Alton Brown calls “seductive”: bone marrow. Marrow is known for its rich umami flavor, something Brown compares to the distilled essence of beef, but it’s not the kind of thing everyone dares to try. Scorpios, however, are always eager to embrace the unfamiliar, and have the sophisticated palates to appreciate veal (or beef) shanks braised in a tomato-wine sauce and topped with parsley/garlic/lemon gremolata.
Serve the osso buco with a creamy risotto, a green salad with a vigaigrette dressing, and an Italian red wine. For dessert, Scorpio might appreciate an assortment of not-too-sweet biscotti along with a cup of espresso and maybe a small glass of a digestif such as fernet branca or strega.
Sagittarius: Mie goreng
Sagittarians are the wanderers of the zodiac. While not ever Sag is able to travel the world, they are all avid armchair travelers as well as dining table travelers. For this bold, adventurous sign, we chose a dish that is exotic yet accessible: the Malaysian/Indonesian noodle dish mie goreng. Mie (or mee, or mi) goreng simply means “fried noodles,” but most recipes for this dish also involve veggies like shredded cabbage and scallions, a source of protein like chicken, beef, or shrimp (tofu, too, for vegetarian Sagittarians), and condiments like soy sauce, oyster sauce, and the salty-sweet Indonesian condiment called kecap manis. Mie goreng also contains enough chopped chile peppers to please the fire sign Sagittarius.
No Sagittarius is going to say no to a side of the addictive prawn crackers called krupuk, but if you’ve got a really hungry Archer on your hands, you may want to serve the mie goreng alongside some chicken or beef satay.
Capricorn: Steak and kidney pie
Capricorns are the Vulcans of the zodiac. They are highly intelligent, but far more likely to be led by logic than emotion. While you’re unlikely to find a Capricorn running to drown their sorrows in a pint of Haagen-Dazs or seeking comfort in a box of Kraft mac and cheese, they are all about tradition and thus often enjoy some rather “old-timey” foods.
While they may not be as adventurous as Sagittarians in their eating preferences, Capricorns are not afraid of flavors that others may find a bit too intense, and, as such, they are one of the few signs able to enjoy organ meats. For Capricorn, what better dish than the classic British steak and kidney pie? We’re pretty sure that this flaky-crusted, rich and meaty dish made many an appearance on the dinner table of that archetypal Capricorn, Sherlock Holmes, possibly accompanied by some roast potatoes and a nice apple tart with custard sauce.
Aquarius: Eggplant Parmesan
Aquarians are the most progressive of the signs. As far as they’re concerned, the “Age of Aquarius” didn’t occur back in the hippie days, but is taking place sometime in the future — a future they’re already inhabiting while they wait for the rest of us to catch up. So what do Aquarians live on, there in the future? Potatoes grown on Mars? More like pretty much anything. Aquarians are also known for being open-minded, so they never met a food they weren’t willing to try. While Aquarians may not have invented molecular gastronomy, they were probably among the first to embrace it.
This doesn’t mean that you have to have studied at Le Cordon Bleu to feed an Aquarius, though, nor do you need an advanced degree in chemistry. Aquarians also appreciate more standard fare, so for this sign we’re going to choose a tasty Italian dish in a slightly less familiar form: eggplant Parmesan. While the chicken and veal versions of this dish are more popular, even the most carnivorous Aquarians have no objection to the occasional plant-forward meal, and they’re not ones to shy away from a less-popular vegetable, either, particularly one that makes a surprisingly satisfying meat substitute if you just give it a chance. Eggplant Parmesan goes great with a side salad and some garlic bread, but if you want to shake things up a bit in approved Aquarian fashion, serve this meal with a slightly offbeat dessert like dragon fruit sorbet.
Pisces: Shrimp scampi
The last sign of the zodiac is dreamy, slightly secretive Pisces. These Fish swim in deep waters, to be sure, but they do need to come up for food at some time. What should you feed them when they do? Pisces are all about subtle, delicate flavors. They are also rather fond of pasta, and, as befits a water sign, very partial to seafood.
If you’re preparing dinner for a Pisces, they’ll be sure to enjoy shrimp scampi in a creamy butter sauce flavored with a hint of dry white wine and a squeeze of lemon juice as well as just enough garlic to enhance without overpowering. Serve the scampi over angel hair pasta with a salad of vinaigrette-dressed arugula to help cut through the richness of the dish and accompany the meal with a glass of white wine. For a perfectly Piscean sweet ending, serve ice cream-filled profiteroles with a drizzle of semisweet chocolate sauce.
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