Ashley Cain has revealed he contemplated suicide and was saved by a police officer.
The footballer and reality star lost his eight-month-old daughter Azaylia to leukaemia in April 2021, and has since dedicated his life to raising awareness about the disease, as well as raising funds for charity The Azaylia Foundation.
Recently, Ashley has been hosting new MTV YouTube series Faces, which sees him speak to other celebrities who have suffered devastating losses, including Kelsey Parker and Brenda Edwards.
The important series opens a conversation that might not otherwise be had, ith Kelsey describing grief as a ‘taboo subject’ in an interview with Metro.co.uk.
Thursday’s episode saw Ashley speak to DJ Roman Kemp, who lost his producer and best friend Joe to suicide in 2020.
Roman spoke honestly about his struggles with anger and feeling emotionally numb since his best friend’s suicide, and expressed his frustration that while he loves Joe, he hates the decision he made.
The radio star said that people with suicidal thoughts ‘need to understand’ that whatever pain or dread they are feeling, ‘by taking your own life you are not getting rid of that, just passing it to those around you.’
Ashley then opened up about his own dark moment when he considered seriously about taking his life following the death of his daughter, having previously spoken about battling suicidal thoughts.
He told Roman: ‘Very recently I found myself in that space.
‘Quite recently, something happened where I found myself standing there, on that bridge. I found myself high, looking into the pit where I would land to leave this world and join the next one.
‘I got saved out of the blue. I was in a place there was nobody around, nobody at all. And I got pulled back out of nowhere by a police officer called Jesus. And everyone was in tears around me.’
Ashley said he felt ‘ashamed’ at the time but no longer is, ‘because it made me realise that all the pain I’m going through by losing my daughter, if I was to commit that act I would be passing the pain to people who love me like I loved my daughter. ‘
‘The one time I turned up to that pity party that’s what nearly happened.’
Episode one of MTV Faces saw Ashley in a discussion with Kelsey, the widow of the late Tom Parker of The Wanted fame, while the second episode featured Brenda Edwards, whose son Jamal died suddenly last February.
Speaking to Metro.co.uk ahead of the launch of the series, Ashley said he was ‘proud and happy’ to be taking part in the series which gives a platform for honest conversations about grief.
MTV FACES hosted by Ashley Cain goes live on Thursdays weekly on MTV UK YouTube. This week’s episode features Roman Kemp.
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