It is an excellent time to be the royal baby — it may have yet to leave the womb, but when it does, it will be entering a world where it automatically has 4.8 million Instagram followers. Granted, followers it shares with its parents, but still pretty nice digs for someone who has yet to cut any teeth. But while millions of followers certainly screams "fame," there is no indication of it quite as telling as this: Whole Foods is launching a cheese for the royal baby, with every part of the cheese specifically tailored to the baby’s existence. All I can say is that baby’s lucky it’s gonna be cute, because otherwise the jealousy spiral would be more than my cheesy heart can bear.
Whole Foods’ limited-edition "Royal Addition Cheese" is an exclusive to the chain, and will be available at select stores nationwide, with the exception of the Rocky Mountain Region. When can you expect to see it on shelves? Well that, my friends, is entirely up to the royal baby — it will launch in limited quantities time to the birth. When that happens, you’ll be able to buy it for $9.99 to $12.99, depending on the region, and grill the cheese of your royally obsessed, dairy-loving dreams.
The real pressing question, though, is what makes this cheese "royal"? Aside from the fact that every cheese is automatic queen status, Whole Foods really did make every effort to tailor this cheese to the royal baby — an impressive feat, considering it’s still in utero.
"Made of the highest quality in Southwest England, the Westminster Royal Mark red cheddar cheese combines a slight pleasant tanginess and a creamy texture, with flavor notes of burnt caramel and a slightly sweet and nutty finish, to create a world-class taste, worthy of royalty," Whole Foods describes the new product. "Cheddar is one of the most popular cheeses in both the U.K. and the U.S. and this rustic English cheese embodies the cultures of both the Duke and Duchess – just like the royal baby! In addition, the Royal Mark cheese uses tropical fruit pulp annatto to give the cheese a unique, vibrant orange hue, to match Prince Harry’s signature hair."
Official royal crests are so last year — it’s all about the official royal cheese now, y’all. If you’re impatient to give this one a try, you don’t have too long to wait! Per Meghan Markle, the royal baby is due in late April or early May, which means you could be eating this royal cheese any day now. When the time comes, surely a large number of people will be gathering to celebrate at all the landmarks that are commemorating the royal baby’s birth, but not you. You, my friend, will be at the most important landmark of them all: the cheese section of your local Whole Foods, where the celebration is the most delicious. Let’s just hope someone saves a bit and sends it to known Whole Foods stan Meghan Markle, who deserves some cheese to celebrate most of all.
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