‘It can take time to bond with your baby’: New mothers reveal what they wish they’d known BEFORE giving birth in VERY honest online thread

  • Mothers took to Mumsnet to share the things they wish they knew before labour
  • The discussion was kicked off by a parent who hoped it would help depression
  • Many parents listed the pain of visiting the loo for the first time as a surprise 
  • One mother admitted she didn’t realise she would have to give birth to placenta 

Mothers have taken to parenting site Mumsnet to share the things they wish they had known before giving birth.

The lively thread was kicked off by a user by the name of Introspect, who revealed how she had struggled with postpartum depression, and explained that she might have found it easier had she been better ‘prepared’. 

The mother explained that she hoped that creating a list of shared experienced with other parents would help her and others suffering with similar symptoms.

And parents quickly flooded the thread with their own experiences, citing the things they wished they had known before labour – including the discomfort of that first post-partum loo visit and the impact of all those wildly fluctuating hormones. 

British mothers have taken to parenting site Mumsnet to share the things they wish they had known before giving birth, after a mum suffering from post-natal depression revealed she hoped it would help others

Starting the thread, the user wrote: ‘I wanted to put together a lift of the things that I’d wish I’d known before giving birth. I’m hoping that this can help me and others by talking openly about it.

‘I know a couple of full time mothers (me included) who struggled a lot postpartum and I genuinely think that I would’ve felt a lot easier if I’d been more prepared about the birth.’


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Explaining that she didn’t bond with her baby immediately, she encouraged other mothers to share what they had learned from giving birth. 

Joining the thread, another woman added her own experience, writing that she wished she had been warned about hormones. 

And others quickly flooded the thread with their own experiences, citing the things they wished they had known before labour- including the pain of the first loo visit and the fluctuating hormones

Another user admitted that as a teenage mother she wasn’t aware she would have to deliver the placenta separately, writing: ‘I didn’t know that you have to deliver the placenta afterwards no one mentioned it! I was mortified when they told me. I was 18 -no excuse though ’.

‘You cry uncontrollably around 4-6 days after birth and apparently it’s normal because it’s ‘hormones settling’, she wrote, before adding: ‘Constipation will ruin your life.’

Listing isolation and paranoia as other symptoms, she added: ‘Paranoia and worry will take over your brain and you can convince yourself the baby will disappear if you leave the room. 

‘Everyone disappears to ‘give you space’ even if you plead for company.’

Another mother revealed she cried for a month, admitting that her hormones went wild after giving birth

Agreeing that the bond doesn’t always come immediately, another new mum said: ‘That I wouldn’t necessarily feel a rush of love for this child when I was handed him. 

‘It did come about 4 weeks later when i was sat on the floor in darkness at the end of my ex mother-in-law’s bed, holding this baby and crying my eyes out because he was due some injections and I didn’t want anyone to hurt him.’

Another user admitted that as a teenage mother she wasn’t aware she would have to deliver the placenta separately, writing: ‘I didn’t know that you have to deliver the placenta afterwards no one mentioned it! I was mortified when they told me. I was 18 -no excuse though ’.

And others revealed that they soon realised there was no such thing as returning to ‘normal’. 

One mother revealed that she had learned to listen to her baby, explaining that no matter what your birth plan is, your baby may well have other plans in store

One wrote: ‘Getting back to normal isn’t possible – there is a new normal. And that new normal will will keep changing, but kiss your pre-kids life goodbye and stop trying to live it as you had done before and you will be happier’.

Meanwhile many admitted that the pain of the first toilet visit and the quantities of blood they lost afterwards came as a surprise to them. 

‘I wish someone had told me about the first post-birth poo’, one honest mother wrote, while another added her reason as ‘How painful going to the toilet for weeks afterwards would be’.  

Many mothers listed the extensive bleeding and the first loo-visit after giving birth as painful experiences

One wrote: ‘Getting back to normal isn’t possible – there is a new normal. And that new normal will will keep changing, but kiss your pre-kids life goodbye and stop trying to live it as you had done before and you will be happier’

However others offered reassurance by arguing that not everybody’s birth is a horror story. 

‘It doesn’t necessarily take a long time in labour, it can be quick’, one mother wrote, adding: ‘My first labour was three and a half hours and my second was four and a half hours.

‘It doesn’t mean it wasn’t painful but at least it wasn’t for too long’. 

Another mother agreed, adding: ‘Sometimes all these bad and stressful things don’t happen. 

‘No crying and wailing a few days after birth, no horrific postnatal toilet experiences etc.’ 

However others offered reassurance by arguing that not everybody’s birth is a horror story, one wrote: ‘No crying and wailing a few days after birth, no horrific postnatal toilet experiences

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