It’s been five years since Game of Thrones aired its series-changing red wedding scene, featured in the season three episode “The Rains of Castamere,” and it’s still utterly shocking. The scene sees King Robb Stark, his wife Talisa, his mom Catelyn, and his devoted bannermen getting massacred in an impromptu attack at a wedding reception, no less. British GQ recently asked Richard Madden, who portrayed Robb, to rewatch the scene — to which he said, “I think it’s really rude you’ve made me watch this.”

The actor admitted he was nervous to rewatch the scene, because he ended up in tears the first time he watched it with his costar Michelle Fairley, who portrayed Catelyn. Though he didn’t cry this time, Madden did share plenty of behind-the-scenes tidbits and anecdotes. All in all, his walk down memory lane only further proves just how wild the plot twist is.

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