DEAR DEIDRE: DURING sex, my wife and I make up stories about her being with another man. It makes it all amazing.

I am 28, she is 26. I have an overwhelming fantasy about dressing up as a female then watching my wife have sex with another man while I stand outside the bedroom listening at the door. I cannot get this idea out of my head.

I told my wife and we now talk about it together. She has even said she’s willing to do it if I set it up. I am excited and terrified at the same time. I don’t know if I should set it up for real.

DEIDRE SAYS: Fantasy can be a great way to spice up your sex life but turning your fantasies into reality is altogether different.

Real people have real feelings and there’s no way to turn back the clock.

Maybe reflect more on what your fantasy is telling you about your sexual identity, but also check that your wife is genuinely happy exploring all this.

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