I’m 29 and I haven’t been lucky with romance at all. But I thought that would finally change when a new man came into my life nearly two years ago.

He’s 35 and he moved to my section at work. We soon got to be friends and shared lunchtimes and breaks when we could.

He said that he’d lived with his partner for nearly eight years but now they hardly spoke — separate lives and separate beds was the way he described it to me.

We started a secret affair and I was thrilled when he said he’d decided to get himself free.

He moved back to his mum’s ­— but we weren’t home and dry. He has suffered from depression for years and he hit a new low.

I tried my best to support him but that got really difficult, especially after he told me he’d lied about his relationship and that he had in fact shared a bed with his partner right up to the end.

I then became unsure about how he felt about me and that’s when I met the new guy, on a night out with friends.

He’s 27. We met a few times and had passionate sex but it didn’t feel right and I ended the fling.

My boyfriend then switched round his story again and told me that he hadn’t been intimate with his partner for the last year of the relationship.

I felt so confused that we started to bicker and row. The last straw came two months ago when he quietly announced he was going to Spain for a week with his ex and her sons.

He said I had ruined his life and that made him ill.

Since then, he’s not been in touch. I’m hurting so much and I just want him back in my life.

How can I get him to see how good we were together?


In reality, we have to give the partnership attention for it to survive happily.

My e-leaflet Relationship MOT can help.

For a copy email [email protected] or private message me on my DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

DEIDRE SAYS: Was it really that good? It sounds as if you’ve just dodged a bullet to me.

You need a dependable, loving man – not a bloke who can’t stick to a plan, or the truth, or work out where his loyalties lie.

No wonder you started to bicker with him, yet he still tried to blame everything on you.

I’d say, let him go and get on with your life. You tell me you haven’t been lucky with romance before and you now need to ask yourself why.

Do you let yourself fall for every man who shows interest in you? You need to be much more selective than this.

Take a step back and decide if a man really offers the love that you want.

My e-leaflet Finding The Right Partner For You could be helpful.

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