We’re both 45 and I’d been aware of a mole on my face which was getting bigger. I went to my doctor who confirmed it was cancer.

We were both scared but she was with me every step of the way and I don’t know how I’d have managed without her.I had surgery, skin grafts and chemotherapy. My face is settling down but I don’t look the same.

My wife is caring but says she doesn’t want sex now. She’s got rid of her sexy nightwear and underwear and turns her back on me in bed.

I miss our loving but I can’t tell her how hurt I feel.

DEIDRE SAYS: The sort of intense anxiety you and your wife endured often shuts down sex drive.

When she looks at you she is reminded how she nearly lost you. And while she may not feel sexual – it doesn’t mean she is rejecting you.

Tell her you love her and how much you miss the intimacy you used to share.

Ask if you can start giving one another a loving massage to help you relax together physically. My self-help e-leaflet Massage For Couples explains more.

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