My sons with my wife are five and seven. I ignored my first boy’s existence for six years, but then made contact. He is now ten and I’m 32.

I feel my younger two would accept things more easily while young and may hold it against me one day if I don’t tell them they have a half-brother.

I feel I have the right to tell them but worry my marriage could fall apart.

DEIDRE SAYS: Your wife fears that a relationship with your oldest son will threaten your love for her boys – and for her.

I agree you should see your oldest son and introduce him to his half-brothers.

They will welcome him – as long as your wife does.

Ask her to put the children’s interests before her own, but also promise to work towards making your marriage stronger.

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