My wife and I married late. We were both 32 but thought we had plenty of time to start a family. We had all the tests and were told nothing is wrong but it just didn’t happen for us. We tried to adopt and were gutted when they turned us down.

We’re now 46 and have accepted at last that we’ll never have kids. Most of the time we just get on with life, but at Christmas I feel the knife twist in the wound.

I hear friends planning their time with their children and it seems so unfair. I had so much love to give to a child but it has all gone to waste. I tend to bottle things up but sometimes I shut myself away and cry.

DEIDRE SAYS: I’m so sorry about all the pain you’ve been through.

Use the New Year to ensure that next Christmas is different.

Don’t let that caring heart go to waste in a life of regret.

Have you thought about fostering? Contact your local fostering service or And find support at

READ TODAY'S DEAR DEIDRE My depression has got so much worse since my 30-year-old son starting living with me again

READ DEIDRE'S PHOTO CASEBOOK Tommy and Miranda get talking again over Christmas

Get in touch with Deidre today

Got a problem? Send an email to [email protected] Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Follow me on Twitter @deardeidre.

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