DEAR DEIDRE: I WAS raped by a friend when I was 16.

I told my family but they said it was my fault, because I had kissed him a few days earlier.

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He was 19. I just tried to forget about it.

I am a woman of 27 now and have had relationships since, but they never lasted because I’ve never felt really comfortable about sex.

I am now with a lovely man.

He is 31 and we want to move our relationship on to the next stage.

I decided to have the coil fitted but having it inserted reminded me of the rape. It was terrible.

I am due a cervical smear but I keep putting it off because I’m afraid of having that feeling again.

It feels really weird when there is such a gap between the trauma and my reaction.

How can I move on?

DEIDRE SAYS: You are finding it is next to impossible just to bury the trauma of being raped and hope it will fade away.

It’s not at all weird that it is still affecting you and it will still help you to get support for what you suffered.

Contact Rape Crisis (, 0808 802 9999).

You can talk to them about finding therapy to help you and whether you want to report the rape to the police.

You may not be that guy’s only victim.

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