A LONDON lad has broken down the commuting times between all the locations referenced in Taylor Swift’s latest single in a hilarious social media post.
The popstar dropped her new song earlier this week, called London Boy, where she reveals her soft spot for blokes from the capital.
The 29-year-old confessed she “loves the English” in the lyrics, where she namechecks various hotspots around London.
From Camden market to Highgate and Brixton to the West End, Tay Tay does a lot of travelling in the city.
So one Taylor Swift fan, from Hackney, decided to work out the commute and cost between each destination – debating whether the singer knows about Oyster cards.
Ethan, posting on Twitter under EthanolBeer, he wrote: “I worked out every single commute Taylor Swift would need to do in her London Boy song. A VERY DETAILED THREAD.”
He points out Taylor does a lot of criss-crossing around London, and has to change tubes a few times as she goes back on herself.
Beginning with Camden Market to Highgate, this is fairly easy journey which he works out takes 13 minutes and costs £1.50 off-peak.
And he makes some assumptions about her boyfriend, saying: “Her bf in this song plays rugby and sounds like an utter k**b, so there's only one uni he could have gone to: Imperial.”
As he works his way down the lyrics, Taylor’s sense of direction appears to get a little hectic.
He says: “So far Taylor has had decent commuting sense.
“After Soho she heads over to Oxford Circus for some shopping, before getting the Victoria line to Brixton for her big night out at Brixton Jamm.
“This is where Taylor Swift's commuting plan starts to unravel. Stumbling out of Club 414 at 4.30AM, no night tube in sight – she jumps on the 35 bus all the way to Shoreditch High Street.
“After whiting out in the middle of the street in Shoreditch, Tae makes her pilgrimage back to Highgate with a walk to Old Street and a trip on the northern line
“This one makes no sense. Why go from Shoreditch to Camden to Hackney?
"Swift jumps once again on the Northern Line back to Camden… walks through the market to Camden Road before getting on the overground to Hackney Central….
“A depressing walk from Hackney Central to Hackney Downs, an overground train to Liverpool Street and then the Central Line.”
He declares Taylor has “decided to walk” from Bond Street to Soho, as she heads back to Highgate in the lyrics.
The post continues: “At this point Taylor has been to Highgate more times than Liam Gallagher's kids. Northern Line from Tottenham Court Road all the way up to Highgate.
“Hackney & then Hackney to Bond Street the same as before. Also I'm tired.”
He works out that the total cost of her commute would be £24, and would take around five hours.
Although Taylor does reference a scooter as well as jumping in a cab, so we’re missing the current Uber rates.
The fan’s lengthy post has racked up thousands of likes as people praised him for his dedication.
Commenting on the post, one person said: “You’ve also not taken into account she’s probably got a 1-2 travelcard which caps at like £7.70.”
Someone else commented: “Did she have an oyster? DID SHE HAVE AN OYSTER?”
A third said: “100% can tell Taylor swift has never done these and also is not a commuter. This would be the most expensive London date ever.”
Someone else wrote: “So what you are saying is either Taylor Swift made it up for artistic reasons or she is rubbish at reading the tube map ?”
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