A WOMAN who got pregnant at 15 and gave her baby up for adoption says her heart still aches for the son she gave away.
Sierra Watts, now 23, has shared her journey from finding out she was pregnant to becoming an adoption and women’s advocate online.
Sierra, now mum to second son Leo, who she shares with husband Drake, recalled telling her parents she was going to be a teen mum, and the tough decision to give her son away.
Sierra, from Missouri, got pregnant by an older man, and says at the time she didn’t really understand about sex and the finer points of biology, as she admits “I grew up very sheltered”.
Speaking on YouTube, she said: “I was naïve about sex, I could not raise a child, I was in a very bad mental state, I did not have money to raise a child."
Sierra, whose son was adopted under a new name, has virtually no contact with her little boy, who she named Nova while she was carrying him.
She has opened up about the delivery, and the last precious moments she spent with Nova before he was taken to his new birth family.
Sierra told Tyla she was “terrified” when she found out she was pregnant.
She ended up telling her mum at 3am – who had an inkling her daughter was expecting after she began experiencing morning sickness.
Ultimately, she decided to give her son up for adoption, saying on her channel: “As much as I am pro-choice, I could not get an abortion.
“I did the only thing I knew I could do, adoption. And it was the hardest thing I have ever done in my entire life.”
At the time Sierra says she was still confused about the process of adoption and the realities of being a teen mum, saying she felt “helpless” about each choice.
She described the birth as the “saddest moment” of her life, and says she was unsure about bonding with him too much, in case it became too hard to hand him over.
Sierra admitted that she only got to hold her baby son a few hours after the delivery.
She told Tyla: “It was extremely difficult. I knew the more time I spent with him the harder it would be to sign the papers.”
Years later, Sierra said: “When I look back my heart still aches.”
The new mum says she told it would be “selfish” on the adoptive parents to back out, and she worried she might end up changing her mind if she spent too much time with him.
She said: "Looking back I shouldn't have been worrying so much about the adoptive parents and should have done what I truly wanted to, which was to spend more time with my son after his birth."
Ultimately she thinks she did the right thing for her son, telling her 313,00 followers on YouTube: “It was the best thing I could do for myself and for him.
"As much as I had reasons to do it for myself, ultimately I did it for my child, not for me.
“I wanted my child to have a good life, I wanted my child to live a life he deserved to live.
“And at that time I could not provide that for him. Now, I can provide that life now, to my son.
“But back then, I didn’t know where I would be right now in my life. I made the best decision I could.”
Sierra, who’s open and honest about her pregnancy and adoption, says she does regret giving her son away, saying "no babies are ever mistakes".
Sierra continues to make videos on her channel to raise awareness about adoption, and says one day she thinks her birth son will watch the clips.
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