There is an epidemic ravaging Twitter, and I regret to inform you that every single person reading this is at risk. The culprit? Internet soft boys.
Simply put, soft boys are just fuckboys in disguise. They are just as hot, but they use their thoughts and feelings to draw you in. While the approach is different, they’re just as likely to leave you high and dry as any other guy who slides into your DMs. For example, where an f-boy might hit you with a “u up?” text, a soft boy will tag you in some Instagram poetry. They are armed with strong opinions about film and coffee, and they are dangerous. (But… so beautiful.) Here are five soft boys the internet is most susceptible to, ranked by the softness of their tweets.
5. Timothée Chalamet
Although Timothée is the epitome of an internet soft boy, he is not very active on Twitter. He has only tweeted 319 times, which is approximately how many tweets I pumped out when I learned that Hailey Baldwin and Justin Bieber got married, TBH. However, he does have an affinity for the 🙂 emoticon, which is very soft.
4. Jaden Smith
On the soft boy spectrum, Jaden sits all the way on the “artsiest” end, and his Twitter account is proof. He’s the kind of soft boy who wants to remain mysterious, which is why you can never quite tell if his tweets are his own thoughts, lyrics, or references to things you don’t know about.
I Liked You Soo Much I Never Saw You Again
It is also important to note that all of Jaden’s tweets are written in title case. If a guy types in title case or lower case, he is most likely a soft boy.
3. Colton Underwood
The current reigning Bachelor doesn’t have many tweets to analyze, either. That’s because he deleted them all before his season started, which is a page right out of the Soft Boy Social Media Handbook. (Soft boys always clear out their social media right when they’re about to promote something.)
Coffee hour in Singapore pic.twitter.com/KE4Q2hP88w
He’s only been tweeting again for a few months, but Colton’s account is filled with selfies, inspirational quotes, puppies, and borderline dad-humor. He also likes to constantly remind his followers that he drinks a lot of coffee and eats a lot of peanut butter. This kind of faux-relatable behavior is common among soft boys.
2. Cole Sprouse
Cole Sprouse’s soft boy Twitter super power is smart sarcasm. All of his tweets are funny, but obviously designed to make you think. This is arguably the most dangerous type of soft boy.
Nothing like youtube’s greatest hits, with fan favorites such as- “vines that helped me reconcile the oppressive futility of my mortality and my great grandmother’s passing”
1. Noah Centineo
Noah’s Twitter is undoubtedly the soft boy hub of the internet. His tweets make ABSOLUTELY no sense, but all feel vaguely deep and/or inspirational. He breaks up photos of himself with photos of the books he’s reading and screenshots of motivational quotes. It’s basically a confusing thirst trap for all of our brains. In conclusion, he is the softest soft boy on Twitter.
Love you? I am you.
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